Saturday, March 11, 2006

Three from today

the daily news —
a crow decries
the futility of it all

hands deep in earth —
a flock of sheep
in yon field... or people

sun in my eyes —
a cacophony of baby birds
guides me home



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like these, especially the last one. a cacophony of baby birds is such a great line.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The third one is my favorite, as well. Nice resonance of 'a favor returned.' All are nice.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Norman Darlington said...

Thank you, Aurora and Denis. None of these is carefully honed. Sometimes the joy is in presenting a verse with its immediacy intact. So these are pretty much "as they were".

4:39 PM  
Blogger Little Onion said...

The third is my favourite too Norman. I just tried it out loud with 'the' at the start of line one and I maybe liked it even more :-) I'm a one for articles these days more than in previous times - this I know could change again.

We have no baby birds as yet here but the Blue Tits are in and out in and out of their chosen boxes.

I'm looking forward to listening at the boxes for those first signs of new life.

Little Onion

11:33 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

An excellent point about immediacy, Norman, and these haiku certainly have it. If we are always 'carfully honing' we can risk sacrificing this kind of freshness.

12:57 AM  
Blogger Alison said...

Must be more carful with my typong...

1:01 AM  
Blogger Norman Darlington said...

Thank you Alison and LO for your comments. Yes, stay carful, Alison :)

4:09 AM  
Blogger Norman Darlington said...

Sorry LO, I forgot to answer your point re 'the'. I also avoid if at all possible omitting articles where they would be found in prose. I don't think this is one of those cases, though. Plus at 16 syllables, this verse is already 'bursting at the seams'!

4:12 AM  

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