Sunday, March 05, 2006

snow light

9 Comments:

Blogger mattm said...

glad you could join us john and good to see you have been getting away from the computer - great shot with the water dripping from the beak btw

11:58 AM  
Blogger Aurora said...

WOW.

12:17 PM  
Blogger J. Andrew Lockhart said...

beautiful

1:35 PM  
Blogger Little Onion said...

I really like the haiku (though I wonder about the effect of using 'a' perhaps instead of 'the' before swan)

Again as with a number of photo-haiga I find that the picture (which I like very much too) and the haiku are too close to each other for my own 'haikai' senses - we see the picture and get a haiku almost directly about it rather than a linkage or a taking us on somewhere that each alone doesn't.

Gerald's pub haiku with the swan picture that was posted after this of yoours John - does work via linkage -

These are only my thoughts and I still enjoyed the piece.

Thank you John for joining us, for giving us a swan in spring - I fear for them this year with the threat of avian flu - I understand swans are very prone to it.

Little Onion

2:51 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

an enjoyable haiga and a pleasure to find you here.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Denis said...

Fine photo-haiga. The ku can stand on its own.

bw,
Denis

8:28 AM  
Blogger Alan Summers said...

Good shot of the swan, font, and the text, all come together.

Look forward to more from you when you can.

There's nought wrong with swanning around, as you'd know if you can ever come to Bradford-on-Avon.

Would love to come over to wonderful Liverpool as well of course! (-;

8:39 AM  
Blogger John Barlow said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments and constructive criticism. It's good to catch up with you all after enjoying your work for the past few weeks!

I'm glad the haiku and photo work independently (and together for some people). As Little Onion notes, they are really "too close to each other for...'haikai' senses". As (I suspect) with several other examples here this wasn't really intended as a 'traditional' photo-haiga, but rather to jointly "record the coming of spring 2006" in the spirit of the blog and the medium.

I'm no fan of 'creative' haiku, where the poem is written for effect rather than being true to the poet's 'real life' experience. Consequently I feel haiku creatively 'inspired' by the poet's own (or especially a stranger's) photograph - and therefore created for effect - have little lasting resonance and relevance, at least as stand-alone haiku. If they are not true to experience they essentially 'record' nothing other than the creator's own creative ability, though they do obviously have essential value as examples of 'collaborative linking' (as with renku, etc.). Of course the two independent media are occasionally brought together successfully, both in the haikai sense and with honesty to experience, as is evident on this blog.

To my mind the quality of the haiku, the quality of the photograph, and the authenticity of both to the poet's actual experiences are of equal importance. And I certainly agree that suggestive linkage adds depth to photo-haiga - as with Dustin's 'her reflection'.

As for the definite article, I did try the indefinite, but eventually considered the swan to be too essential to the experience. Of course I may be wrong, so I'll live with the haiku for a good few years before making a final decision :) Thanks again for the feedback - much appreciated.

Alan - B-on-A (or L) sounds great. Let's discuss off blog...

3:35 PM  
Blogger Little Onion said...

John,

The best linking works are all based in experience.

One verse or image or even sound sparking a link to some experience stirred by active exposure to them.

I hope that you don't feel haiku are not born from some creativity although I'm not one myself for the term 'creative art' or 'decorative art' etc - just art - yes - i'm ok with that - art.

Little Onion

11:18 AM  

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